Void
by ChangeOfWings
Summary: Despite the contrary common belief, a certain Rose Marion Tyler was not in an alternate universe, living a 'fantastic' life. She was not fantasizing about a certain brilliant alien that had thieved her heart and shattered it in one deft blow in the time span of two years. She didn't have to fantasize. Doctor/Rose/Master- Year That Never Was- Explicit Violence/Cursing/Death
1. Prologue

Contrary to the common belief, a certain Rose Marion Tyler was _not _in an alternate universe, living a 'fantastic' life as the one she had promised to live day to day. She was not waking up, getting ready, going to work, coming home, watching telly while eating beans on toast, and then going to bed. She wasn't moving on and dating Alec Saunders, the bloke who fancied her from archiving. She wasn't with her mother Jackie Tyler, or her sort-of-and-not-father Pete Tyler, or her bouncing baby brother Tony Tyler. And she certainty was _not _fantasizing about a certain fantastic alien that had thieved her heart and shattered it in one deft blow in the timespan of two years; a brilliant bloke filled with enough ego to pop the universe away from her he was occupying.

_From_ her.

She didn't have to fantasize. She didn't have to dream or cry out in the plaguing nightmares of his taunting face that was a twisted lie of doubt, always nagging. The worst day of her life morphing into absolute horror as he mocked her and left her sobbing.

She didn't have to dream or scream any longer. She didn't have to cry or wail for a man she longed for a universe away.

Because she was in his arms right now, wrapped up in pinstripe clad embrace, being held so tightly she thought she might choke.

And not from proximity. There seemed to be a slight problem with the fact that everything behind her was melting away, her whole world.

The universe was falling apart.


	2. Chapter One

"Doctor?" There was something wrong. This shouldn't happen. This was _wrong _in every sense of the word.

Rose had seen him watching her, standing there with that sad, goofy grin of his._ Sad? Why so sad?_ She had thought, but the idea and every other ill-laden notion or iota was tossed completely from her mind as she ran towards him.

She should have ran back.

But what else was Rose to do, after a brutal day of work at Torchwood and a night before of sweat and tears for him himself?

It had been sprinkling lightly outside in parallel London- Rose had never thought it as _normal_ London, just as 'not the one she knew', with its blimps and dreary grey life and monotonous strangers that passed by- and so she had gone out on a walk to remind herself no matter how much she rebelled against the thought of torturing herself further, that this was_ Not. Her. Home._

But no matter how much it hurt herself to be reminded every once in a while, the alternative was frightening, and no matter how unforgettable her own past seemed, she was afraid that after too long of her same boring life that she might forget. Forget for one single fraction of a second that she didn't belong.

She had been sitting at a children's park, watching the swings be pushed through thin air by the wind, the creaking of the playground, the noises of hurried footsteps through the weather of dreary not-her-London, the sound of vehicles, and even the ringing of her own mobile shattering through her calm when she saw him.

Then she ran and when she looked back, even though the Doctor never looked back when he ran, she wished she had turned. Turned and fled and screamed.

But when she pulled away from him, her arms still placed lightly on his forearms, his own on her sides, her waist. His face took on a form of pity- and by instinct her body tensed for the words of pain to fall from his lips as it would in a nightmare.

"Oh, Rose Tyler." It wasn't his voice. No, it wasn't. And why was she noticing this, not the feel as something terrifying- but somehow much less than the impostor before her- was happening behind her back? His voice was mocking, it was cruel and changed. Not him. Every fiber of her being instantly struggled in his grasp, but he held her tightly by her sides. So hard it would bruise.

"I've waited so _long_ to meet you." His form flickered. Brown replaced by hazel for a fraction of a second, boring into hers. What was happening? Who was this? What was going on? Why had the rain stopped suddenly, the sounds of the park, the people, and the creaky swings, all of it- the sound of the _universe_-suddenly gone so silent?

Was this a dream? Another night terror in which she was frozen and all she could hear was mocking laughter and the sound of her own heart?

He was laughing, but Rose felt nothing than a desire to let her now dropping eyes fall shut. No. Why? She had drunken coffee not just too long ago- 4 cups today already, half of her usual amount. She was tired, yes, but why? His eyes flickering back to hazel. Why so tired? She had been fully awake- but perhaps not aware- a few moments ago. Brown hair turning lighter, almost blonde. Back again. Flicker, flicker, flicker, like a child with a light switch.

"Oh, we are going to have_ so_ much fun." And then she couldn't fight it anymore as her eyes fell, her head falling as she nodded off into sleep in the impostor's arms.


	3. Chapter Two

"Citizens rejoice! Your lord and Master walks on high! Playing track 73-b." Sitting in the wheelchair so still he was surprised he wasn't gathering dust, the last of the Time Lords- no, one of the two last of the Time Lords- was making a small bet with himself.

If the occasion ever arose that the Master made him regenerate or die, he'd owe himself ten dollars.

If the occasion ever arose that he made himself regenerate or die, he'd owe himself five dollars.

The latter was quickly becoming more and more likely by every day.

The view of the scorched and scarred earth was breathtaking and tear producing. It cracked his hearts into many little pieces, and a view at the inhabitants- new and old- scattered the pieces away so far, that the Doctor had no idea that they could still go as fast as they were going now.

Three weeks. Three weeks ago he saw the Master for the last time. Three weeks of bliss with a side of no torture. But perhaps the torture of what _he_ might be up to, the paranoia, might kill him.

The day before he left for the three week break, The Master forced a name out of him. And now, he regretted it. He had forced a name, a place, and a threat- no, a challenge, if he understood his friend and enemy well enough.

"_Tell me Doctor, tell me who the bottle neck blonde chav is, the one off the Tardis data banks."_

_Silence._

"_Oh, come on now! You can't act like she doesn't exist. I found the files and stuff."_

_Another long pause, with a sigh._

_"Tell me, or I'll delete everything of her. Pictures, items, names, dates, even the locked room that won't open no matter what I do."_

"_You won't delete the data?"_

"_Ha! He speaks, the great silent magician of dunces- _No_, I won't. I just want a name."_

"_Rose Tyler."_

_An expectant silence, where he's waiting for more, and the other is preparing to be drug over coal beds just for the sake of a few mortal possessions._

_"She's in a parallel universe, where you can _never_ get to her."_

The Doctor was pulled from the memory and view of earth, the Master parading in after the three week leave. The crumpled form that was dragged in after him only twisted the shards of the fragile organs that used to be in his chest. What was that sayings humans sometimes used? Salt in a fresh wound? Yes, quite. The Master only sang in his off key voice to the music, twirling The Doctor to face her, oblivious or completely enjoying the horror on the Doctor's face. She was on the ground now after the guards threw her, lifting herself up but it was a struggle with the handcuffs.

Before she could even glare at The Master, the menacing Time Lord placed a foot on her back and kept her down.

"Rosie! Kind of you to join us! It's a long trip, a universe away." He crowed, clasping his hands together and swinging them behind his back. The guards that had brought her in were now standing attention around the room, too well mind washed to even glance at the scene.

"Look, old man! I brought you a gift." Rose tried to look up from beneath his grasp, eyes widening at the sight of him. He looked old, only a ninth his age but still the same body she knew. Still, Rose seemed to understand that it was him, eyes watering and mouth shaping into an 'o'.

"Doctor…?" She croaked, and the Doctor berated himself for not noticing how rough she looked, mouth parched and hair tangled. She didn't look starved, but somewhat skinny. Had the Master done anything to her?

"Rose." It was a prayer, a word of begging and disbelief, one the Doctor never dreamed of addressing again.

"Oh look! She knows who you are. But of course, she'd spot the prude nine hundred year old man who fell in love with her eighteen year old self any day." He gave the Doctor a fake condescending look, pouting. "And you call me a criminal, Doctor. Robbing the cradle are we? She's no more than a child and yet you fell in love. Why's that then?"

He lifted his foot, hand grasping for Rose's matted strands of hair. She cried out and stumbled to her feet as he picked her up. She wanted to punch, hit, scratch- do _anything, _but she knew that she was handcuffed. Handcuffs sucked.

"Master!" The Doctor choked out, about to stand up in his seat. Suddenly the Master was flashing out his laser screwdriver, pointed at the Doctor.

"Sit down, old man. I'm having my play time. You have to share toys, Doctor. A common moral of earth- sharing." He paused, trailing the screwdriver down Rose's cheek, trailing down to her neck. He turned his head from her back to the Doctor, stopping his exploration with his device and pausing right above where her shirt would open from the buttons. "What, don't you follow? You seem to grasp their effect of being stupid." He laughed as the Doctor sank back into his seat, eyes going back towards the struggling Rose. She tried to keep her tears in, and The Doctor never felt so helpless.

"I'm sorry, Rose." He whispered, the Master making an 'aww' noise one might give a puppy.

"Oh, hear that, Rosie? The old windbag says he's sorry. But he shouldn't be. No, not really." She gave him a sharp, hateful look as twirled his laser. "I should be. Your worry shouldn't be about dear Rosie posie, Doctor. Worry about _how _I got her."

The Doctor's old and crinkled eyes widened, fear scorching his gaze.

"No… you didn't. You couldn't have." Rose looked back from the Master to the Doctor, scared.

"What's going on? What'd he do, Doctor?" The Master frowned at her.

"Hush, Rosie. Doctor's working it out." She gave him another glare, suddenly kicking forward and hitting him in the crouch. The Time lord fell, hissing in pain as the guards leaped into action as Rose got another good kick at his midsection before The Master grabbed her foot, jerking hard.

She fell, the guards picking her up and throwing her across the room as her head hit the stairs with a thump. The Doctor was restrained by another guard, placing a hand on his shoulder to keep him seated.

"Rose!" The Doctor cried, but the Master was quicker as he stood, aiming the laser at him. The guards went over and picked Rose up, two of them holding her by the arms. The Master stalked over to her, eyes lit up with rage and anger.

"You stupid little ape! You're lucky I brought you with me." He hissed out vehemently. Rose suddenly stopped struggling, the Doctor unable to help the growl that came as the Master slapped her across the face, the guard still holding the Time Lord in his wheelchair.

Rose spat on him, hitting his cheek. Suddenly she was on the ground again, a large bruise forming on her face as a small amount of blood left her mouth. The Master had punched her this time.

"I crafted a void walker and went to your universe, bitch. It tore your universe apart and destroyed it, Rose Tyler. That whole universe and everyone inside is _dead. _Your mother, father, siblings, friends- everyone is _DEAD!_" He hissed, Rose's eyes widening, and she shook her head, eyes watery and voice frail and shaking with agony.

"You're lying! You have to be! Mum and Dad and Tony and everyone else's fine! They're probably workin on some way to come get me, yeah? Stop you an' save the Doctor an me. So you can shut your fat mouth, you can, whoever you are!" She turned to the Doctor, the Master's face twisting into a cruel Cheshire cat grin, watching as she was crumpled on her knees. Her hands wiped her eyes of forming tears. "He's lyin'. He's got to be. Right, Doctor? He's lying! Tell me they're not dead! Tell me!"

She was sobbing, forcing a truth that wasn't there to become lie. The Doctor couldn't continue to watch, but this was his punishment- for letting this and what the Master would do to her- watching her cry. He slumped his shoulders, turning to the master.

"How could you? The void can't be 'walked'." He growled, Rose trying to hide her tears by staring at the floor but failing.

"The Paradox machine ripped through this universe, and it weakened the walls of the void _making _it possible. Before the walls were like concrete, now it's like a balloon." He turned to where Rose was being held by the guards. "Take her to the cell." With that they started to leave, Rose screaming and yelling.

"Let me go, you psychotic bastard! Let me go! I'll kill you! I'll kill you!" The Master only laughed, shaking his head as they left with her. The Doctor's hands tightened on the arm rest of his chair, grating his teeth.

"Oh, you want the truth, do you?" He asked with a smile. "I don't think I'll tell you anyways."

"What are you going to do with her?" The Doctor grounded out, trying his best not to hit him.

The Master tapped his laser to the top of his head, leaning against the table. "Hmm… I don't know. Perhaps I'll kill her? No- too easy. Oh! I could fuck her. That would be fun."

"Don't you dare!" The Doctor growled, the only thing holding him back was the threat of Rose's life.

"I'll think about it. But for now, I'll enjoy shoving her in your face. Oh, there's so much you don't know, Doctor." He paused, giving the Doctor a probing look. "Tell me, Doctor. Have you ever fucked Rose Marion Tyler before? You're so in love with her, it's ridiculous. So _pathetic _and _human_. Too self-loathing to get her from the parallel world. If the Time Lord's could see you now."

"I couldn't. And now you've killed all of her family." The Doctor hissed at him. The Master only shook his head with a chuckle.

"No."

"No? What do you mean 'no'? You killed them- trillions and trillions of lives!"

"Doctor, there is only one Rose Marion Tyler in all of creation. What happens when you put something in a universe there is no place for?" The Master asked with a manic grin. "The Universe tries to get rid of it. Her parents were fine, even Mickey Smith was fine there. They replaced their previous self's' spots in the fabric of time lines in that world. But Rose was like trying to tape a ball of crumpled paper to another already thin piece of paper barely standing as it was due to the trauma from the Cybermen and Daleks.

"Since she was there and her families Time Lines connected to Rose, the universe couldn't revert back to its normal state with her there. And since Rose's Time lines stretch beyond even these two universes into the time vortex, the universe was able to be rid of her. The paper was already falling from the uneven weight of Rose taped to it, but when I ripped through it to get her, I only sped it up. You should thank me, Doctor. I _saved _Rose."


	4. Chapter Three

"_Steady. Steady." The metal was cool and hard, but its weight was light and even. It fit with the contours and shape of her palm, only a small twitch and the deed would be done._

_Red light cast its mark upon the innards of the Valiant. Two chains hung down to a figure slouched in defeat, eyes sad and lost._

"_Do it, Rose Marion Tyler. Do it." A tear fell, the humid air thick and making her grip on the gun sweaty. _

_A small movement, right? A twitch. Her head jerked, and lowered. His hand was around her own, arm by hers. His body was pressed behind her, warm breath on her ear cooler than the air down here. Any longer and she might cook._

_The figure behind her only chuckled, and she could almost see his smile in her hair, the same one. It meant retribution for not following orders, payback in the worst kind. She was still sore._

"_Roooosie. Shoot. You have to shoot. Do you want me to kill him? I'll kill them both." She didn't slump her shoulders or give in, her only sign of not wanting to pull the trigger was her lowered head and the fact that the figure before her was still breathing._

"_Shoot, Rose. Shoot!" He whispered quickly, making her jump. But she didn't pull. How many times had she done this? Faced someone on the other end of the barrel. Never before had she pulled the trigger. She rarely even pulled the metal out at all._

_The only reason she had it with her during her time at Torchwood was after that one time. In the early days. After that they got one warning. No second chances. But even then, never. Never did she take something not hers._

"_Rose... do it." Her head snapped up, brown flecked with gold meeting blue that once was so happy, so warm. The face shifted from an American ex con-man to large ears and a daft old face, more silent tears trailing down her face._

"_I-I can't…" She gulped, the hallucination of a love far too long gone, giving her his saddest smile._

"_Do it Rose. I'll be fine. _We'll_ be fine."_

"_Put him out of it Rose. Out of his misery. Do it."_

Bang.

Rose shot out of bed, hair tangled and sweaty, and her throat sore. Her face was wet and red, her hands fisted into the hard springs of her mattress.

Bang-Bang-Bang-Bang.

The small white quilt was tossed and rugged on the bed, the piece of furniture taking up half of the small room. The bed covered from wall to wall, a small walk space between the next wall. The door by the foot of the small uncomfortable bed was being hit, the metal a bleached white like everything else.

Bang. Bang. Bang. Bang.

"Roooosie. Are you wake?"

Bang. Bang. Bang. Bang.

There was a pause.

"Oh, what am I even knocking for? I hope you're decent!" He was mocking her. Pretending she had courtesies like staying as far as she could from him, keeping him out, and dressing up in anything except for a thin white robe.

The door creaked open, the manic grin and hazel eyes that deceived her so many times stepping inside with an escort of two guards. Rose only sat there in silence, the small barred window above her head streaming in more light than even the pitiful hanging one above could manufacture.

"Rosie! How long has it been? Oh, how time flies." A week since she'd been left in here to rot, since he forced her into killing him. She'd accepted what she'd done already. It took time to will herself into admiting she'd kill him. Killed Jack. Killed the Doctor.

She remembered the Game Station that night.

It'd been a month since she had been taken up into this hell, every week a new kind of torture. The first had been being paraded around in front of the Doctor. He'd even kissed her forcefully in front of him, taunting and teasing. The second had been to walk around with him, and he acted so kind she almost couldn't believe what he'd done or that he was even the same man. That was until he beat her after that to break her, breaking the small image of a better man he painted in her mind her could be.

The third had been her having to tag along with Lucy, listening to the blonde's droning voice about '_Oh, Harry's so great and powerful. He's so strong and brave. He's going to give me the stars.'_ Then he made her go into the depths of the ship, and kill him. Then he left her in this room with nothing but water every so often for another week.

"So, Rosie. I've got something _great _planned today. But first," He paused, motioning to the guards as they picked up the unresponsive captive. "We're going to have to get you something to eat. You look famished!"

It was true, her ribs visible even under the robe.

As they walked down the halls of the Valiant, the Master ahead humming as she was held between two guards, Rose Tyler came upon the absolute truth of the situation.

She hated him.

"Citizens rejoice! Your lord and master walks on air! Now playing track 3f-a."

When they entered the main room, the Doctor gave her a sad look from his position in the wheelchair. No matter how old he looked, Rose knew it had been him the moment she saw his brown eyes. Besides, who else wore pinstripes and red chucks and a coat from Janis Joplin?

At the table, a dark-skinned woman with frizzy dark hair set a bowl of gruel down on the table. Rose's eyes lit up at the prospect of food. The Master told the guards to let her go, pointing to the food.

"Go ahead, eat. Can't have you dying yet, now can we?"

Rose eyed it suspiciously, then after a moment of silent debate, dug into the food, not caring for all the world how she looked scarfing it down. Well, she did care for the world, but not this twisted one the Master had sculpted.

The Master and The Doctor watched her eat, the guards posted too quiet in their broken minds, standing still and perfect. It reminded Rose of the soldiers in red, and how they would never move even if a dog peed on them.

When she found herself fighting to stop from giggling, only then did Rose question her sanity. Oh hell- she'd been questioning it all along.

"Well, you can stop licking the bowl now. I've already got one dog, thank you very much." Rose glared at him, her only form of resistance he hadn't already taken down. She hadn't been licking the bowl, she'd only just finished. Besides, she'd be more than happy to knee him in a place very uncomfortable if she wouldn't be hurt back with retaliating force, or worse, the Doctor would be hurt for her 'disobedience'.

She stood as the same lady who put the food there took the bowl and spoon, leaving the room to Rose, the Time Lords, and the guards who may as well not even be there. Rose fidgeted after a few moments of silence, standing up by the table while the Master just grinned wickedly, the Doctor behind her giving her sad eyes of sorrow and the Master looks of begging not to hurt her.

"Today, Miss Tyler," The Master began, stalking his way over to her, as Rose tried to press more into the table behind her. "We are going to take a little crack at your mind."

He was in front of her now, hands raised as the glass table cut into her back from behind. The Doctor looked horrified.

"Master, please-"

"Shut it, dog. I'll put you back in your kennel if you can't _just shut it_ and leave me and the flower to our games." Rose's eyes flickered for a moment to the Doctor, noticing the crude form of a small structure resembling a tent in the corner of the room. "Look at me, Rosie. This is going to hurt- a lot."

Just as her eyes were forced back to his own by the velvet of his voice, his fingers contacted her temples.

It didn't hurt a lot. It hurt like _fuck__._

There wasn't a word or an adjective in any language Rose Tyler knew of or didn't that could describe this pain. Not really. It was like you were in a small cement room- no, you were the small room with everything you were, could be, and had been- memories and everything you were- was packed inside. Then, have a wrecking ball five times the size of your room made of jagged glass and other sharp and protruding features knock it down. Except a billion's time worse because every sensation was amplified over the empty space between their minds.

Rose felt like she was being torn apart, her mind stretched and fitted, like a glove. It was ripped and shredded as well, everything from the outside world fading away to only the pain and agony of another larger mind in her own touching _everything._

But there was something else among the edges and razor blades that cut and emblazed in her mind. It was a doorway, and the little part of Rose's consciousness that was feeling all this pain and horror, stepped through seeking any small comfort.

What she saw then was a mind-scape like no other. All around her, was endless darkness. The ground was cold and she couldn't feel her toes, numb from the feeling. When Rose tried to take a step, she could feel searing pain like her foot was cut open. Bending down, she smelled the copper of blood, felt the shard of glass in her foot and the rest of its broken counterparts on the ground.

Where was she? This place where she had ended up? All she knew in those moments in a foreign place was her name. Rose Tyler. Was she even Rose Tyler? No. She couldn't be. It was a pretty name though. A pretty name for a girl not lost in the land of perpetual darkness and shattered glass.

Listening carefully, Rose could feel something. Small tinkling's of glass being moved and bumped together. There was a vibration in the air, in the ground. Everything was moving. It wasn't a sound, it was a movement, a feeling, a pulse. Harder and Louder and Bigger and Closer until she could not only feel it, but see that it was everywhere, illuminating everything and nothing all the same.

_Bump-bump-bump-bump_

No thought came to her as she was being squashed- was it even a she? What was she?- and pressed down that when for a moment she saw darkness then endless white and shattered glass floor, she now saw nothing but pain. Hot, blinding, furious pain.

Then there was a hand fitting deftly into her own.

"Run!"

* * *

**I promise the chapters will get longer as we go along. I'm sorry if some of this seems OOC, but I'm not very good at some of this… Tell me if something seems off about a character, please? Well, thanks for reading.**

**Disclaimer; I don't own BBC, Doctor Who, Torchwood, The Sarah Jane Adventures, or any other affiliated brands or products copyrighted you might see in this story. I wish I did. But I do not.**


	5. Chapter Four

She doesn't run. No, it's more like falling, your whole world inverted like suddenly you realize you're standing on the ceiling and the single thought foremost in your brain before gravity reasserts itself is, 'Oh, how stupidly silly. I appear to be upside down'.

Falling, her limbs flail in the dead space of nothing, or what accounts for appendages in whatever dimension this was. It was like Alice in Wonderland, falling down the rabbit hole. Alice in Wonderland- what was that? And a rabbit? A hole? All there was to feel was the sickening buzz in her stomach and the meaningless comfort of the warm hand in her own. Her was a she, right? Yes. That had to be it.

Suddenly, it felt like they were submerged in icy water, tendrils of burning light creeping up from the depths dragging her down. Wasn't it supposed to be backwards, darkness pulling you from the light? Then again, gravity and physics seemed to be inverted in this land of no sight. Only lights and darkness battling against each other, and although their complete difference, it was hard to tell where one started and another ended.

Her chest burned, unable to gasp for air. She was so _cold._ She tried to seek warmth in whoever held her hand, but it was futile, her body numb and still with the threads of light. It was like vines, creeping slowly while tugging, pulling her down, down, down.

Finally, as she felt she were to go pop from the pressure and freeze from the ice cold, she fell out of the water's bottom into a familiar golden light.

Before, it had been burning and insistent, killing her and wiping her mind. But now it was welcoming and warm with the song of time itself reverberating throughout the space. While as her memories of who she was surfaced, Rose noticed she was hanging in midair, as the light solidified into shapes and forms.

Suddenly, it became too bright as she closed her eyes, the hand in her own squeezing tightly.

When Rose could finally open her eyes without darkness descending or light searing into her mind, a familiar blue sky peacefully met her swimming vision. Soft white clouds that looked close enough to touch and lie down as pillows were scattered along the soft baby blue. A bright sun that looked so familiar was hanging in the sky.

Closing her eyes, Rose smelled something she never dared to dream about again. Assaulted with the scent of apples, she found that beneath her was a warm fabric, and looking down she noticed an all too familiar leather jacket between her and the apple grass. She could still feel his hand in her own, but she was too scared to look at him, her eyes instead burning into memory the rolling hills and gentle river by the city of New New York.

"Rose." God, his voice hadn't changed one bit. But he couldn't be real. He was dead. He was dead. He was dead.

She squeezed her eyes shut as he did to her hand, afraid of waking up from whatever dream this was. No- nightmare.

"Look at me, Rose." She shook her head, tears spilling from closed lids. He sighed, a familiar musk of himself and something that could only be represented as time wafted over her. "Please, Rose. I don' have much time."

She couldn't help but laugh bitterly. Her eyes opened, and she gasped, unable to help but mirror his sad smile. Big ears and nose, icy blue eyes, and short black cropped hair met her gaze. Her hand reached out, and attentively, she touched his cheek. His eyes closed, as if he were leaning into the touch.

"You're a time lord, make some time, yeah?" He only chuckled at her signature Rose-Tyler grin, tongue poking from between her teeth.

"Do you know why you're here?" He asked softly, too soft as if he too, were afraid of breaking this moment. Rose only shook her head.

"I… I was in the Valiant… w-with… _him._" Her eyes widened, her hand going to cover her mouth. "He-He's… He's in my head… Isn't he?" Her words were strangled with fear, the man before her nodding solemnly, his arms wrapping around her as she battled the tears.

They sat there for a while, Rose wasn't sure how long that she had her head on his chest, listening to the sound of his hearts. How long he held her and whispered words of bravery and love, admiration and truth in the tongue of his people. How long Rose wept for her family, her home, the Doctor- all of him.

Eventually, she stopped sobbing, but couldn't help but keep her sad tone.

"I killed Jack. I killed you, too."

"No. Were fine, see? Would a dead man be able to tell you everything's gonna be alright?"

"No, because that would be a lie." He only returned her bitter laugh from before.

"Rose Tyler." He paused, inhaling her scent. "You crazy ape." She whacked him in the arm, and he gave her a hurt look. "Oi!"

They laughed before Rose asked him.

"How are you here?" He sighed, pausing to listen to the river to gather the strength that would be needed to help her in times to come.

"The Tardis. She took a piece of me durin' regeneration and put it in your mind when you wen' all Bad Wolf. Always wondered why that regeneration wen' a little wonky." A beat. "Bad Wolf probably saw this, and put a trigger for this mindscape. So that you could see me."

"Who 's he, Doctor?"

"My best friend. Used to be, that is." The sun started it's weary descendent down the sky, Rose's own eyes closed and trying to listen as best she could, to memorize the sound of his hearts' beat, the river, the wind. "He wen' mad when he looked in the untempered schism. At the age of eight, just children mind you, we're taken from our families, forced to look. It's an initiation to the academy for Time Lords."

"But why'd he go mad? Wha's that noise in his head, Doctor?"

"Koschei did go batty after that… See, I ran when I looked." He chuckled. "Never stopped. But no one knew why, he just claimed there was somethin' in his head, a drumbeat or other. I only wished I knew he survived. I would o' never let this happen to you."

Rose looked up, eyes wide with fear.

"What's he gonna do to me?" She shivered, pulling herself closer. "'m scared, Doctor. He's hurt me, but…"

"But what?" He pushed gently.

"I wonder what he'd be without those drums. If they're the only thin' makin him crazy, what if they were gone? What If we… If we can help him, d'you think he might be better? Nicer?"

The Doctor took a deep breath, exhaling slowly. He shook his head.

"I dunno, Rose Tyler. He always was a bit mischievous and daring, even before the schism."

There was another lengthy pause, Rose grasping for courage like straws, the Doctor in heavy thought. Eventually the sun dipped beneath the horizon, stars glittering like diamonds against the great swaths of darkness.

"I love you." Rose finally admitted, and for once she could say it to her first Doctor, the one she first fell for.

She looked up to see that brilliant grin, so terrifyingly heartbreaking and manic at the same time.

"Rose Tyler," Rose was scared to look, to watch him say it. She remembered last time, how close cut it had been. "I love you too."

The tension and breath Rose hadn't realized she'd been holding left her, a thin wry smile forming on her features.

"I only regret not bein' able to snog the hell out o' you."

"Agreed."

After the bouts of laughter subsided, the Doctor's tone took a serious one.

"Rose, he's looking 'round your mind for things like Bad Wolf. Memories an such." Rose gave him a startled look.

"But you said you got it all outta me."

"I… I think I did."

"You _think_?"

"Rose, no one's supposed to survive with that power. Not even a Time Lord. We'd become vengeful gods. But you, Rose Tyler," He paused, saying her name like a prayer and an explicative in one. "You, held onto it for almost an hour and didn't die. Like when Bad Wolf put the trigger for me in your mind, she might of lef' traces of herself too. Did other me ever scan you?"

She shook her head, eyes widening.

"Never saw the point, we were too busy and he probably forgot, anyway."

"Rose, you can' let him get to you. He could do anythin' with that kind of power. Promise me. Promise me, Rose. Promise you won' let 'em."

She took a shaky breath, knotting her hand with his own.

"I promise, Doctor." He searched her gaze, before nodding, eyes drifting from her face.

"Good." He gazed at the stars, becoming distant. "It's time Rose."

She only clutched to him tighter, confused and scared like a child being forced from their mother.

"But I don' wanna go back. Can't I stay here, with you?" He shook his head again, and Rose couldn't fight the tears.

"No. Goodbye, Rose Tyler." Everything around them started to strip away, a familiar sensation as to when a universe had fallen apart around her. She felt like she was slipping, falling away from him. She held on tightly to his hand, crying. She was barely holding on, ready to fall once more. The only thing now existing with them was him and her, as he stood and she hanged.

"Will I ever see you again?"

His silence broke her heart another time too many, as he let go of her hand.

* * *

**Thankyou, My lovely reviewers! Now, don't expect me to post this often. I've got school still, and my updates might be sparse enough as once a week. I don't like it as much as you don't. I'm not really controlling the story anyways. I wonder if Rose will see Nine again? And what does Bad Wolf have to do with being in her mind? How is it still there?**


	6. Chapter Five

As the soil burned without fuel and the sky cried without tears, a child of this dying world walked. Walked across freezing lands of no differential of sky and tundra on the horizon; walked in blistering heat that homed the habitats for predators that cared not if she was their natural prey or not. She walked in urban jungles, once thriving metropolises- now shattered remains and steel skeleton giants that cavorted and twisted above her like monsters from nightmares.

But this child had learned that monsters were real.

So she watched shadows in trepidation on the great plaines where sun blinded her and grass swayed; once beautiful landmarks where people came to express love, walk for miles to clear heads and admire nature, or to run from the responsibilities of life- to be free. Oh, to be free. She skittered around puddles on the sides of dirt roads, long stretching into the rocky country, abrasive winds digging into her weary body with every step.

And still she walked.

She ran from the mad king on his loony palace of air. She hid from the metal spheres that she had yet to figure out, creatures that were the epitome of horror, the bane of this husk of a world. She fled from her heart, where part of a shattered piece lay with an old man trapped in the agony of his past, present, and future.

But she walked for her people.

She walked for the long lost hopeless people of this world, this terra firma; Earth. She talked and she walked Eurasia, the America's- she spread a religion of a single word. Wise man; healer- _Doctor. _She hid under the cloak of a falsified gun of mankind's making in the defense of something too ancient to battle, it was fools ploy.

This child watched so many horrors that can not be retold, that can not be explained or sympanthized. She walked for a man, a great lone god that could never, _ever_, return the hole in her chest cavity with a piece of his own two hearts. _He has two- shouldn't he have some to spare?_ She reasoned.

No.

Because while one was broken and shattered, she noticed, the other was already RSVP'd. A small sticky note placed there hastily like all others, in random places without meaning. Jumble of words that were half-thoughts- if written in a language she could read, even with the Tardis' translation circuts. But no, this one was plain as day; from the moment she stepped on board.

_Rose._

How much the child wished to envy the girl- to hate, spite, and revere. How could you not be in awe of the person who made this man fall in love with?

But she ran from these thoughts, stories on her lips and a name in her eyes. _Doctor. _But her heart was broken, pieces scattered and pulled apart already by her family. Her bickering, trapped, enslaved family. While the broken remains were barely together by long reaching thread, the one piece she had left to herself she gave away to him.

She ran from her heart as much as she ran towards it. She fled for her sanity as much as she wished it back. She hid from her fears as much as she wished they were still of death instead of things much far worse.

She was broken; but nevermore had she been this determined and strong footed. If not for him, then for herself on a journey to reattach and sow her heart back together, and piece back together her addled mind.

The child was Martha Jones; and she was not on a dangerous journey, a perilous quest, or a remarkable trip.

She was on a mission.

* * *

**Sorry about taking so long; sorry about it being so short. I will make up for it with a longer chapter, and it's a three day weekend for me. So, my goal is to post- including this chapter- three to five chapters this weekend. Yay! Hopefully I can do it, but it will take some inspiration and motivation. I'll probably read a lot more fanficts to help myself with this.**

**A lot of ways I can take the direction of this story... Hmmm... I really don't know if their should be mature explicit scenes, so far I was only aiming for explicit torture/violence... but if you guys want later on, I can direct some even worse things to... coincidentally happen. Also, coincidentally, as I mentioned before, I don't really control this story. It just kinda... happens. So, tell me what you think! Should it get even darker as we go? No, better phrasing; _will _it?**

**Thankyou all my lovely's; LadyThetaSigma, Dreamcatcher49, Nerdlyaccurate, Mango Supreme, and Aria Smith!**

**-ChangeOfWings**


	7. Chapter Six

Rose Tyler's recovery back into the world of the conscious was sluggish and fragmented at best. Despite the best efforts of whatever she must of drank the morning before- had it not been that she had accepted the fact that her era of traveling time and space was over, she would of guessed hyper vodka, and lots of it- she was still in the wringer.

That was, until she wished she was not.

Her memories came brutally fast much to her distaste, a freight train of fear and paranoia crashing on her already tense state of mind due to years of high-stake moments. She was suddenly aware of her body on the floor, crumpled in a position belonging to those of faint nature. Rose Tyler didn't faint. She stood down Zygons, Daleks, and even the worse- the Doctor at his prime fury, and stood her ground. So what exactly had her forcing herself to try and keep her mask of unconsciousness, her breathing expertly mimicked into sleep?

"Not too hard, I'll tell you. She's weak, and this makes it all to easier."

Oh. _Oh._

As her past trauma of the last weeks tumbled on rose like waves on a beach, the pain came as well, the force of a mind put on her own and crushing it into pieces tumbling over her. Each swell and crest brought another scar, the only thing illuminating the storm of the ocean was the face of Her Doctor. More specifically the Ninth Doctor. But why think of him now?

A moan escaped her lips as she tried to force her eyelids to cooperate and not flicker open and betray her as the rest of her body was doing at the moment. Maybe he didn't hear her. People moaned all the time in their sleep, and it could be passed off as not waking up.

Right?

_Slap. _No, then. Eyes springing open to see the offender despite obvious knowledge, everyone's favorite tyrannical and prick in the arse maniac was crouched down by her with his hand fisted in her hair to lift her head up. His eyes gave a withering glare, as if he expected for her to wilt in the ice of his gaze.

Her cheek throbbed, and her mind was giving her one hell of a headache, but Rose Tyler didn't cry. She didn't faint. She didn't fantasize either, mind you. But she did fight. And despite most people's bickering about a woman's patience, one thing captain Tyler had learned on missions was patience.

There would only be one Time Lord left when Rose was done with him.

"Rose…?" She could barely move, lest turn her head but made for the best effort she could. Her head tilted suggestively as she probed the older Doctor's relieved form, still tense with worry and fear. "Are you alright… Rose?"

"Blossom's fine, _Doctor_." The Master spat the name out, before dropping her back onto the floor. Wiping his hands on his suit as if wiping off dirt he gave her a disgusted look, lip curled. Walking back to stand in front of the Doctor, Rose could only view the dominant Time lords back as it seemed they were locked into a staring contest. The Master's face was unreadable, but he seemed to be contemplating something.

"I'll give you an ultimatum, Doctor. Either way, I win." He added the last part quickly as The Doctor sat up in his chair best he could, listening carefully. "You can sit there and waste as I have my fun with Rosie, tearing her mind apart as I find out how exactly to use the Vortex in her head to my advantage. And who knows what else I'd love to do to her…" He ended suggestively, as if recalling on a conversation the two of them had shared previously.

Rose couldn't help but feel her heart stop at the idea, skipping a beat enough for her to have been pronounced dead in the span of seconds by the way she stopped breathing for a moment as well. She was afraid. She had to acknowledge that, at least. She got scared, yes. But did that affect her skills? Her operating behavior? No. It didn't when she traveled with the Doctor or as Captain Tyler, so why now?

"…Or?" The Doctor let out eventually, hoarse.

"Hmm, I'd _love, _for there not to be another option, but Doctor… your other choice is to help me."

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**I am, _so so so so so so so so so so so so (_*infinity_) _sorry. Please, for all the Doctor's sincerity i might of picked up on- and he probably doesn't have much to begin with at how he lies sometimes- believe me. Please? My muse just died. Literately. So, i had to drudge it to the cemetery and bury it which took a few days and then planning for a funeral took a while with the funeral itself. Auditions for a new muse took a long time, and i couldn't find a stand-in. But then, my old muse just busted into my room! Then it scolded me, _me, _for not trying hard enough! I wrote about 3 versions of this chapter!**

**A song that almost perfectly fits the Master during Utopia, Last of the Time Lords, and The Sound of Drums would be (a.k.a my muse) Pheonix by Fall out boy. Seriously. Listen to the lyrics. Then the album it's in.**

**But... I hope you like it. And I am really sorry. I have a tendency to Drop off the face of the earth. Besides! My mind kept pulling my attention span, (which is already the size of a knat!) into multiple impossible directions! Seriously!**

**Changeofwings**


	8. Chapter Seven

Rose could count on one hand the amount of times she had died. If things kept progressing, she'd just need another hand. Not that she was anything special in her ability to still be alive, breathing. There were other multiform's she knew with the ability that she could also count on the same hand.

The Doctor.

The Master.

The Daleks.

Jack.

Wincing at the thought of her friends name, Rose knew she'd been stupid. Although when she had fused with the Tardis matrix all her motives had been out of her own heart with unlimited power, she had still been naive. Still brought Jack back, still saved the Doctor. As if they both could still love her and they could travel forever again.

But she had made a mistake. She'd created... something. It was still Jack, handsome, rough-ish 51st century features- and pheromones. She remembered that conversation; It had been a long night, but not one that involved... intimacy; she and Jack had never been that way. But the Jack she'd helped bring back, was still him.

No matter how much he made her squirm.

The first time Rose Tyler had died, she figured, was when wind had whipped her hair as an ocean rose in mellowing colors of blue and grey. When the sun was hidden and it sprinkled lightly, as the last sound she ever heard of that big blue box drifted away, after he couldn't just FUCKING END THAT SENTENCE!

Now the only answer she counted from _him_, from the one with the big brown eyes and spiky hair, was only 'Quite right too'.

But at least she had gotten her answer from _him_. He'd said it back. Even regretted not being able to snog the hell outta her.

That was another time she died, when she figured out that when the Doctor regenerated, he must not of cared for her anymore. She'd seen Sarah Jane, knew one day she'd be left of too. One day.

She'd seen Reinette, too. What happened when you were still on board when the Doctor went after another of his blondes. Rose had almost left, but after he came back with the saddest look she could of ever imagined, she stayed. Because The Doctor was still The Doctor, no matter what. And she would still love him.

She's not so sure now.

The third time Rose Tyler died, it had been on Pete's world. When 15 years after the battle of Canary Wharf Rose and her family came to a horrible, horrible realization Rose felt shell-shocked. Rose had to move around a lot after that. Torchwood didn't care who her father was, even for board director.

She shivered, remembering. _If it's aliens it's ours._

Of course Torchwood wasn't that horrible in Pete's world. No, they had been a great help among those they could touch in the stars. Even travelled a bit, they did. But Rose never got to go. They were too worried, some too suspicious.

The fourth time Rose Tyler had died, was when he said yes. When she watched as he spasmed on the ground, grey hair changing to brown and wrinkles turning back to normal. His coat fit him better now, his younger more youthful form as he stood. He didn't need the wheelchair now.

"Doctor! You can't-"

"Shut it." The Master threw at her over his shoulder and she glowered at him, wishing to give him a piece of her mind.

"I said yes. But I have some conditions." The Doctor wouldn't look at her. Why not? What had she done?

"Oh, do you now? I'm holding all the cards, who says your even in the game." The Master laughed, rolling his neck. In his hand he still held his lazer, smirking at the Doctor with his satisfaction. He controlled the situation, but Rose would kill him if she got the chance. "Go on. Amuse me, Doctor." The Doctor's jaw seemed to twitch.

"Let the Jones' go. Leave Rose alone. And let Ja-"

"Nah, ah, ah. The freak is staying. Who else would I test my latest diabolical and fiendish killing methods on? Besides, who else would the Toclafane be able to kill when their bored and get their inevitable blood lust?" The Master cooed, as if he were talking about his children. Who said they weren't, for all the mystery behind their source?

"Fine!" The Doctor all but growled, fists clenching. "But Let the Jones' go. And stay away from Rose."

"Which Rose? Oh, this one Theta?" The Master asked and suddenly Rose was being embraced by him. He had lifted her, and held her but she couldn't move. She tried too, but something was wrong.

"Let. Her. Go!"

"I don't know what you see in her." The Master contemplated, looking at Rose for a moment. She sent him a look worth daggers, eyes locked. "But I know what I did."

Suddenly, the world was spinning, and Rose was being thrown. Before she could brace herself to meet the ground, arms caught her, pinstripe clad ones. "_Rose._" He whispered.

"Bad Wolf, Doctor? What is it?" Spinning, spinning, spinning. The edges of her vision was going a little dark. The hell had happened to her? "I demand to know!" The roar and pounding in her ears was driving Rose insane, a headache building in her brain as she slumped in the Doctor's arms.

"What did you do to her?" Who was that? The Doctor? Everything was still everywhere, suddenly twin brown orb-like moons so familiar filling her vision. So big and sad, or were they happy? Grieving? "Rose?!"

Everything went dark.

Of course, all those times were metaphorical. One of the times that Rose Tyler really died? In the Doctor's arms.

* * *

**Short, yes. But bad? Hopefully not. If you seem confused by the Doctors actions and why Rose blacks out? ALL WILL BE EXPLAINED. Probably not immediately, of course. Review and Comment, but don't flame!**

**-Changeofwings**


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